Pete Stuff

So there isn’t confusion

Monday, November 17th, 2008 | Gay Stuff, Pete Stuff, Politics | 1 Comment

There are a bunch of people who still seem confused about why we’re upset about not being granted the same basic rights of civil marriage that other straight couples are granted simply by dropping into a chapel of love in Vegas. People seem to think we’re either being uppity and subversive, or trying to attack their churches, or any number of related distortions and lies.

Well lets clear this up. Its not about any of that. Its about the ever increasing number of basic rights our society ties to Civil Marriage. Wikipedia does an excellent job of listing these out out:

Rights and responsibilities of marriages in the United States

These are just the federal laws that treat married couples differently than unmarried couples. And this doesn’t even include state, local, and corporate rights and responsibilities. And, to be even more clear, these aren’t rights defined by the ‘liberal’ wikipedia – these are directly from a report produced by the General Council of the Government Accountability Office. These are basic allowances and responsibilities granted and expected of married couples.

And if you don’t want to wade through these here is a simple one. Kevin receives medical insurance through my domestic partner benefits at Apple (THANK YOU Apple). Those benefits for us are taxable income because to the government we are not married (We’re still not sure the effect of 8 on our CA marriage but either way the Feds still don’t recognize us thanks to DOMA). THese benefits are NOT taxable for my straight co-workers. So I’m being fined for being gay by our government – plain and simple. The State and Federal government is taxing me based on religious justification.

Sure, some of these i can reproduce through significant time and expense in a wide variety of legal documents, powers of attorney, conversations with family, and other means. But not all of them – yet EVERY ONE is legally granted and binding by any straight couple that gets drunk and goes to the chapel of love in vegas to get hitched. And, for my simple example – there is nothing I can do about that. Without marriage I will continue to be fined.

The other side can claim all the religious justification they want but until someone unties basic rights from religion I’m gonna keep demanding the right to protect my family. They tied religious marriage to personal rights and federal law – not me and no matter how you spin it separate is NEVER equal. Domestic Partnerships DOES NOT EQUAL Marriage in the eyes of the law. If something happens to me Kevin deserves all of the protections under the law as any other survivor does. Any arguments to the contrary are missing the point and if people don’t know that they need to.

So yea.. Still pissed…

(I promise more positive posts soon – I swear! ;))

Weekend Roundup

Monday, November 10th, 2008 | Pete Stuff, Random Morsels | Comments Off on Weekend Roundup

Ok… more of a normal post this time… less of a rant… This weekend was a kinda surreal good bad weird sad kind of one… Whole weekend started friday around noon when Kevin picked me up to go to Lori’s funeral. While the funeral was profoundly sad and touching event it was truly AMAZING to see the sheer number of people who came out to say goodbye. Seems everyone thinks as much of her as we do and came out to help Ric, Bill, and the rest of the family cope. And to top it off it was an amazingly sunny day – you could feel her in the wind and sun! 🙂

Then that night we made it back to the city to walk the dog and just in time for the HUGE protest / march / rally against the passage of Prop 8. Seems there are one or two of us that are a little upset about that (more like 15,000 of us – at least thats about the number that came out en masse to take over the city). It was actually really great seeing everyone come out and make a stink. The march went from civic center, through the castro, and then over to dolores park. It turned out the march lasted all night with people camped out in the Castro until the morning (we pooped out WELLLLL before that).

The rest of the weekend was more mellow. Saturday was rainy and I just got a haircut and a Massage and then we went to dinner at the beach chalet. Yesterday was a little busier.. Dog walk at Chrissy field, brunch with Alex, Scott, and Adam, and then a photo walk with Randy and Rick. But still nice and mellow after the way things started off..

Anyway.. Told you it was boring. But after the roller coaster of last week I’m REALLY READY for a boring week.

later tater!

Lori Ann Turek: 1970-2008

Thursday, November 6th, 2008 | Family, featured, Pete Stuff | 1 Comment

Lori Ann Turek: 1970-2008

Originally uploaded by SwimFinsSF

One of my longest and dearest friends in San Francisco Bill lost his sister Lori this Tuesday. My heart goes out to her husband Rick, her son and brand new baby as well as Bill, Matt and the rest of her family and friends. Everyone who knew her will see to it that her two kids know what a ray of sunshine she is in all of our lives!

Quick Thursday Update

Thursday, August 7th, 2008 | Pete Stuff | Comments Off on Quick Thursday Update

Its been a bit of a crazy week so i’ve been falling behind once again.. but a quick update seems like a good thing…

Home wise its been a little nuts… in the process of dealing with a move, selling a house, and other topsey turvey stuff around that. I really should be more relaxed about all of this because I know at the end of it all things will turn out great however while everything is in process i can’t help but stress out a little.. My little sis reminds me that it runs in the family. Without going into a bunch of details in a public forum we had a deal fall through that flipped me out initially but now i’m thinking it was a great thing from multiple perspectives… Its really funny how your gut instincts prove to be the best….

Other than that we’ve been trying to have a little fun. Last weekend we went to see the new Batman movie which was PHENOMENAL… Disturbing.. But GREAT.. I walked away just feeling giddy and oogey at the same time – how weird is that.. Something about Heath Ledger in Scary Clown Nurse Drag that is just not right.. but DAMN…

Weekend before was the HRC Dinner and Dore Alley Street Fair – both of which were great. The HRC Dinner was a little odd because of the drama around the HRC position on ENDA. It kind of breaks my heart because there isn’t a clear good answer here and I hate seeing people that would normally be on the same side of the issue being divided so badly.. its a shame.. But the dinner was fun and it was great to have my parents join us for it. Dore Alley was the usual stuff… just a lot of tawdry fun which would shock the hell out of most people but is kinda boring to me these days… unfortunately it was also a little cold so we didn’t last very long…

This week we’re having a few house guests to keep us busy. Kevin’s friend Laura that he met in Guatemala got here Monday and left this morning. Then on Saturday night Kevin’s Niece from NC arrives for a week. It will be interesting to see what Kevin plans for her. Last time she was here he took her EVERYWHERE – they did tourist stuff in SF that i’ve never done which is impressive – she was EXHAUSTED by the time she left..

I think thats it at this point – probably more soon but that’ll do for now…


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a note from the frey

Monday, July 7th, 2008 | Pete Stuff | 1 Comment

Just wanted to post a few quick updates while I drive to work (or, rather, am driven)…. Its been ages since i’ve posted anything here for all the same reasons and a few new ones.. So lets see…. updates…

Guess the biggest news is we just moved… Not far at all from the old place actually but its a bigger place with a yard… Basically brand new construction and very open and sunny. We moved last weekend (and, thus, missed pride completely… sure hope they have it again next year! ;-)) and have spent the last week trying to get the space livable and get the old place ready to sell at the same time… The trick is that we’re staging the old place with all of our good stuff which means we’re kind of camping in the new place – we have a bed, my desk, and all of our stuff – but the nice furniture like the couch and the carpets are all still in the old place…

I’ll post some pictures soon…

Aside from that usual stuff going on here… Lots of work as usual… Trying to keep the puppy out of trouble and happy… not much time for being social… Missing all of my shows that are in hiatus (ugly betty, lost, desperate housewives, battlestar galactica, ….)… you know…

oh… and i’m 38 today.. Kevin had some folks over for cocktails and snacks yesterday… in the new yard… so fun…. 😉

now off to work… more later!

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A week on a boat

Friday, May 30th, 2008 | Pete Stuff | 1 Comment


Originally uploaded by SwimFinsSF

I’ve been super busy the last few days / weeks with all sorts of stuff so I haven’t had time to post… But I did want to share some pictures while I have a free second (and just a second)… Kevin and I just got back from spending a week with a whole bunch of friends and family on another one of our live aboard dive boats… We went with my dad, rick, randy, rick’s dad, matt s. matt f. tim c., chris m that I work with, erin, and some other folks r&r know… In case you’re curious all the pictures are posted here… You can also see R&R’s pictures and a video here

more later

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