Have managed to get some play time in outside of work though which has been nice – the holidays were VERY nice – got to spend some good quality time with one side of the family and got to rest up some too as well. We spent Christmas in Sacramento with my mom, step dad, sis, bro-in law, step sis, step bro-in-law, and the bro-in-law’s dad… Those days were a lot of eating, talking, opening presents, movie watching (in the new kick-ass granite bay media room) and a trip to see Avitar (which i LOVED).

New Years was super fun too – the whole family (minus the step sis and bro-in law since they had to go back to PDX :( ) came out for new years eve dinner.. After dinner the rents had to beat it back to Granite bay for a party of their own and Katie, nick and I went off to a party for the new year and then out to blackbird for drinks after that. Really fun night (though did result in a SUPER fun hangover the next day – but thats OK).

New Years day we went to Matt and Brian’s for BB’s new years birthday with Katie and Nick which was also great.. As usual Matt cooked up a storm and we got to hang out and play with the Aud-ster. Later in the day was a blur – think dinner and rented a movie or something.

That weekend Katie and Nick had to head back home (booo) and we just hung out. Went to see “A Single Man” which we both LOVED… Very well done both from a production / artistic perspective as well as from a plot perspective… Loved it..

Last week was mostly work and pulling together a video for Alex’s 40th Birthday party. Scott and I decided to pull together a slideshow and a video for the party last saturday night with clips from a bunch of his friends. Turned out to be super fun to edit it all together – video wound up being a little long and I don’t like the audio mix much.. but still fun. The actual party was Saturday night which was super fun to.. Pictures all through dinner and video at the end.. We got a private room at Luce in the Intercontinental… Overall very fun…

This week is all work and this weekend we’re going up to Napa with some friends to escape.

So I guess that was longer than i thought.. boring to most i’m sure but figured i was overdue… no promises on the next post (since i always seem to break them).. but i’ll try!

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So thats the big news… Also been doing a lot around the house and trying to focus on relaxing and being a little more well rounded… Started taking Yoga classes with kevin during those weeks off and we’re still doing it ( Bikram Yoga actually )… Also are taking a meditation class once a week… We’ll see if i keep it up long term but i’m digging it right now…

So things are good but busy… I’ll try to post more but probably the best thing to do is watch the right hand side – thats where the twitter updates go which i update more frequently than my blog these days (short tweets are easier than long posts)…

more later

Found these in a drawer in my office today and got a kick out of them… They’re from years ago in my concert going days but the collection of shows and movies kinda makes me giggle… INXS, Marilyn Manson,Front 242, Jimmy Buffett, a Giants Game, and Lie Down with Dogs (Movie)…

Anyway… Made me giggle so i had to share!

my day: it was actually pretty damn good. I got a lot done. had some really good conversations with folks that i’ve needed to have. Relatively drama free which is a beautiful thing. And, most importantly, i got a lot of good coding done – added some really cool stuff to something i’ve been working on for some time. Usual  stuff so can’t say anything about what or when – but still. fun.

words: I just read a note on JMG about the wing nuts freakin out because Barney Frank called Antonin Scalia (who is not chief justice btw – thank god) a Homophobe. I think we overuse the word Homophobe. Perhaps these people have “an extreme and irrational aversion to homosexuality and homosexual people.” but i’m not so sure… Bigot is a better word (intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself)…. Just at thought…

weekend: Lookin forward to it. BSG party tonight (yes i’m a geek – lest there be no any question. but man i’m gonna miss that show). Then brunch and an afternoon with friends. Then a birthday party tomorrow night. Then a massage Sunday. All things considered not a bad way to spend the weekend.

facebook: not diggin the new redesign. sorry. i’m kinda curious about people’s status updates and i liked being able to checkin occasionally. but i found things people posted far more interesting. Links. Pictures. New Friends. That kind of thing. Status messages from most people are kind of an over-share most of the time if you ask me (which is odd given how much i use twitter). I liked having a different tab for status updates and ‘other stuff’. seems like facebook is trying to take a swipe at twitter at the expense of some of facebook’s strengths.

like i said.. a random post… more updates coming soon but for now that should tide me over!

Which leads me to the second reason why it bugs the hell out of me. If you start with a premise of debating differences you immediately deadlock all conversations because you’re in a defensive position debating and defending your position. If, on the other hand, you started the conversation without these assumptions and focused, to start, on where you agree and then branch out to explore and understand differences and the reasons you can have a much more sane conversation. Otherwise the debate send everyone’s blood pressure through the roof and have people walk away from every conversation thinking ‘well they’re just a fucking idiot’… not productive.. not helpful..

I’ve seen SO MANY examples of this around me over the years. You see it in politics. In the President’s speech the other night you saw half of the audience cheering and the other half sitting on their hands pouting. Same premise on both sides – i’m right and they’re wrong. Get over it. Stupid – all you people have a big problem you need to solve and if you can’t work together – ALL OF YOU – then we’re screwed.

I see this in my day to day life. My solution to the problem is the right one and yours is fundamentally flawed. The truth is neither is true. Both are options with merit and if you start with where they work and go from there you’ll ALL come up with a solution that is better for the effort. I even see this in debates in forums like twitter.

The result is the same in all situations – deadlock.

Now mind you I’m not saying that we all don’t have incredibly firm convictions on certain topics. There are people who think that abortion is wrong in all cases. There are people who believe that gay marriage is a fundamental human right. There are people who believe that Objective-C is the appropriate language for all development problems. Whatever. The point is if you start with those absolutes first the conversation is SO MUCH HARDER and, quite frankly, the debates are T.E.D.I.O.U.S…. Put those absolutes aside and start with the gray so you can actually make some progress…

Sorry for the rant and the random stream of consciousness post. I’ve just been thinking a lot about what has me tied in knots lately and it boiles down to that – I’ve allowed myself to get drawn into, worked up by, and emotionally invested in following these types of debates. Sure they can be entertaining on occasion – but if you get invested in them they wear you down and you don’t actually solve anything…

Deep breath…

now back to your regularly scheduled program

Lets see – holidays were fantastic. Kevin and I spent Christmas out in Granite Bay with my parents and my sister and brother in law who drove out from Colorado. Drive you ask? Well they also brought their new puppy Calvin who is a gorgeous Yellow Lab pup. So we had a very Canine Christmas – 4 dogs romping and playing like crazy dogs. Nina was in Heaven. Christmas was very nice and relaxing which i enjoy..

After Christmas Kevin and I drove down the coast to spend a couple of nights at Costanoa to get a little quiet time… If you haven’t been there you should go – its kinda pottery barn camping. Camping without the hassle or the dirt. We went hiking along the beach, drove to santa cruz, had nice dinners, and relaxed… VERY Nice!

After that Katie and Nick drove into the city from Sac-to to spend a few days for new years eve. They crashed out with us and got to spend time with Nick’s mom who was visiting for a conference. Highlight was new years eve where my parents drove out from Sac-to for the evening (such a long haul for such a short time – we really appreciated it) and we all went to a really nice new years dinner at one of our favorite restaurants in the ’stro…

The next day, after Katie and Nick left my step sister Haylie and her beau Ross came out to visit for a night. It was REALLY great to see her and meet Ross – he was a really nice guy. The only regret was that I was so tired by that point in the holiday that I don’t think we were very good hosts. but it was wonderful seeing them.

So that was the holidays – then i dove back into work… As usual i can’t talk about the details of that aside from the public stuff (you know – macworld last week… FCP supermeet last wednesday which was cool… some health issues with our fearless leader… blahh blahh blahh)…

Ok… Now you’re all up to date.. More smaller updates later.. but that should hold ya for now!

Reader’s digest is work work, Christmas, work work, Baby Shower, work work, hanging out, work work… We had a baby shower at our house for our friends Drew and Adrian who are having a baby just after the new year. We had a house full of people and amazing food thanks to kevin… Was a lot of fun. Since then work has been super busy with things that I can’t talk about as usual..

This past weekend was pretty good. Had dinner with Alex at a restaurant called Sauce in Hayes valley that was super good. Kind of funky variations on old classics… Meat loaf. Tater Tots. That kind of thing.. Was really good. The rest of the weekend we spent working and christmas shopping. Boring I know but such is my life lately – and i’m OK with that

We did manage to see Milk this weekend. If you haven’t seen it you NEED to see it. I expected to be touched by it because i’d heard good things and because we’re surrounded by signs of that part of history living here in the Castro – but I had NO IDEA how moving it would be. They do an amazing job of combining new footage and historical footage to put together an amazing story. I came out completely exhausted and looking for more information (which is always my sign of a good movie).

Anyway.. thats it for now… more later

Well lets clear this up. Its not about any of that. Its about the ever increasing number of basic rights our society ties to Civil Marriage. Wikipedia does an excellent job of listing these out out:

Rights and responsibilities of marriages in the United States

These are just the federal laws that treat married couples differently than unmarried couples. And this doesn’t even include state, local, and corporate rights and responsibilities. And, to be even more clear, these aren’t rights defined by the ‘liberal’ wikipedia – these are directly from a report produced by the General Council of the Government Accountability Office. These are basic allowances and responsibilities granted and expected of married couples.

And if you don’t want to wade through these here is a simple one. Kevin receives medical insurance through my domestic partner benefits at Apple (THANK YOU Apple). Those benefits for us are taxable income because to the government we are not married (We’re still not sure the effect of 8 on our CA marriage but either way the Feds still don’t recognize us thanks to DOMA). THese benefits are NOT taxable for my straight co-workers. So I’m being fined for being gay by our government – plain and simple. The State and Federal government is taxing me based on religious justification.

Sure, some of these i can reproduce through significant time and expense in a wide variety of legal documents, powers of attorney, conversations with family, and other means. But not all of them – yet EVERY ONE is legally granted and binding by any straight couple that gets drunk and goes to the chapel of love in vegas to get hitched. And, for my simple example – there is nothing I can do about that. Without marriage I will continue to be fined.

The other side can claim all the religious justification they want but until someone unties basic rights from religion I’m gonna keep demanding the right to protect my family. They tied religious marriage to personal rights and federal law – not me and no matter how you spin it separate is NEVER equal. Domestic Partnerships DOES NOT EQUAL Marriage in the eyes of the law. If something happens to me Kevin deserves all of the protections under the law as any other survivor does. Any arguments to the contrary are missing the point and if people don’t know that they need to.

So yea.. Still pissed…

(I promise more positive posts soon – I swear! )