my day: it was actually pretty damn good. I got a lot done. had some really good conversations with folks that i’ve needed to have. Relatively drama free which is a beautiful thing. And, most importantly, i got a lot of good coding done – added some really cool stuff to something i’ve been working on for some time. Usual  stuff so can’t say anything about what or when – but still. fun.

words: I just read a note on JMG about the wing nuts freakin out because Barney Frank called Antonin Scalia (who is not chief justice btw – thank god) a Homophobe. I think we overuse the word Homophobe. Perhaps these people have “an extreme and irrational aversion to homosexuality and homosexual people.” but i’m not so sure… Bigot is a better word (intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself)…. Just at thought…

weekend: Lookin forward to it. BSG party tonight (yes i’m a geek – lest there be no any question. but man i’m gonna miss that show). Then brunch and an afternoon with friends. Then a birthday party tomorrow night. Then a massage Sunday. All things considered not a bad way to spend the weekend.

facebook: not diggin the new redesign. sorry. i’m kinda curious about people’s status updates and i liked being able to checkin occasionally. but i found things people posted far more interesting. Links. Pictures. New Friends. That kind of thing. Status messages from most people are kind of an over-share most of the time if you ask me (which is odd given how much i use twitter). I liked having a different tab for status updates and ‘other stuff’. seems like facebook is trying to take a swipe at twitter at the expense of some of facebook’s strengths.

like i said.. a random post… more updates coming soon but for now that should tide me over!

Which leads me to the second reason why it bugs the hell out of me. If you start with a premise of debating differences you immediately deadlock all conversations because you’re in a defensive position debating and defending your position. If, on the other hand, you started the conversation without these assumptions and focused, to start, on where you agree and then branch out to explore and understand differences and the reasons you can have a much more sane conversation. Otherwise the debate send everyone’s blood pressure through the roof and have people walk away from every conversation thinking ‘well they’re just a fucking idiot’… not productive.. not helpful..

I’ve seen SO MANY examples of this around me over the years. You see it in politics. In the President’s speech the other night you saw half of the audience cheering and the other half sitting on their hands pouting. Same premise on both sides – i’m right and they’re wrong. Get over it. Stupid – all you people have a big problem you need to solve and if you can’t work together – ALL OF YOU – then we’re screwed.

I see this in my day to day life. My solution to the problem is the right one and yours is fundamentally flawed. The truth is neither is true. Both are options with merit and if you start with where they work and go from there you’ll ALL come up with a solution that is better for the effort. I even see this in debates in forums like twitter.

The result is the same in all situations – deadlock.

Now mind you I’m not saying that we all don’t have incredibly firm convictions on certain topics. There are people who think that abortion is wrong in all cases. There are people who believe that gay marriage is a fundamental human right. There are people who believe that Objective-C is the appropriate language for all development problems. Whatever. The point is if you start with those absolutes first the conversation is SO MUCH HARDER and, quite frankly, the debates are T.E.D.I.O.U.S…. Put those absolutes aside and start with the gray so you can actually make some progress…

Sorry for the rant and the random stream of consciousness post. I’ve just been thinking a lot about what has me tied in knots lately and it boiles down to that – I’ve allowed myself to get drawn into, worked up by, and emotionally invested in following these types of debates. Sure they can be entertaining on occasion – but if you get invested in them they wear you down and you don’t actually solve anything…

Deep breath…

now back to your regularly scheduled program

It really amazes me the ends people will go to see to it that I’m denied basic rights. I just hope that the No on 8 folks are acting with respect even when dealing with the other side cuz in my book the ends don’t justify the means. We gotta treat everyone with respect even when we disagree – after all, isn’t this what its all about?

happy friday!

Anyway.. I found it interesting…

I’m not one to ever revel in the passing of another human being – no matter their background… but I also can’t say the world isn’t better better place today than it was a few days ago… The world definitely needs less hate and bigotry…

U.S. / POLITICS

Jesse Helms Dies at 86; Conservative Force in the Senate

By STEVEN A. HOLMES

Published: July 5, 2008

The former North Carolina senator had a courtly manner and mossy drawl and turned his hard-edged conservatism against civil rights, gay rights, foreign aid and modern art.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/05/us/politics/00helms.html?ex=1372910400&en=9ffcca5004bace5e&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

Florida Lawmakers Mull Ban On Ornamental Testicles

(Tallahassee, Florida) They’re proudly displayed by any self-respecting bull, but dangling big metal ones on the back end of a truck could be banned in Florida.

What the fuck… don’t these people have better things to worry about?

sorry… just feeling cynical today I guess..

Trip back east

Kevin and I spent Saturday morning booking a trip back east to visit family. When we first started looking at this it was stressing me out – not because I didn’t want to see folks but rather just because of all of the variables we had to plan around. We wanted to go to Gettysburg to visit my family, North Carolina to visit Kevin’s family, Washington DC for a set of HRC meetings, and Kevin wanted to stay longer and maybe go to Atlanta. Well we skipped the last part but we managed to find a great set of flights that pulled it all off.. Kevin is going to visit his family on a monday, I’m meeting him there that friday and staying for a few days before we head north to visit my family. after a few days there we’re heading to DC… Now that its all taken care of the trip actually is sounding like a lot of fun to me and i’m really looking forward to it.. I can really use the break.

High Class

We saw the trashiest example of drunken behavior yesterday afternoon… We walked out the front door to go to an early dinner to hear some woman spewing profanities with a slurred voice.. I rolled my eyes and wrote it off to drunks on a sunday coming back from the bar. But when I got a glimpse I saw her unbuttoning her pants and I assumed she was mooning her friends. New but still random drunken-ness so I kept walking. Then I glanced back to see if Kevin was coming only to see that that same girl was doing some strange crab walk with her pants around her ankles – and peeing.. Dear lord… A drunken slutty girl with a foul mouth peeing on the sidewalk about 10 feet from our front stoop – right where our dog craps on a daily basis… NICE…

Hypocrisy

In reading this article on John McCain trying to distance himself from the endorsement of a Texan pastor. Aparently, in addition to this guy being anti-gay, he’s also spoken about catholics conspiring with Nazis against Jews. Because of this American Catholics have been leaning on McCain to renounce this guy… Thats all well and good – but what I found interesting was this quote:

“By publicly addressing this issue, you will reaffirm to the American public and to Catholics that intolerance and bigotry have no place in American presidential campaigns,” Chris Korzen, executive director of Catholics United, wrote McCain in a letter sent Thursday.

Is it just me or is a quote like this kinda funny coming from a representative of a catholic organization – particularly after things like this coming from the head of that church.. I don’t know.. i’m just sayin!