SwimFinsSF

Random thoughts….

- Expanded cable into our neighborhood - a good thing… Two HOT ASS Russian men installing it - even better… DAMN… (They’re augmenting the cable to add chanels in our hood and I came home from Peets today to find these men workin on the side of my house - result is a bigger box on the side of our house that i’m not thrilled with but I didn’t even THINK about that when I was watchin ‘em work! )…

- Another Good thing? The magic TiVo remote key sequence that lets me jump forward 30 seconds (i.e. the commercial skip feature).. Gotta love those geeks that hid that in there and shipped it.. God Bless ‘em!

The Closet

Arguably I’ve led a charmed life when it comes to being ‘out’. My family has all been amazing when I came out to them - it didn’t seem to phase them at all.. The only change in their attitudes I could see was that my mom switched from trying to set me up with girls to trying to set up up with boys ( ask me about our Hawaii trip some time! ). My friends were equally cool too for the most part.. I had one friend of mine from college that seemed wierd about it but thats it.. The rest were wonderful (and even he is fine - just cautious)… And same at work - telling co-workers at Apple has NEVER been a problem and the same with my management. Had many managers ask me if I was married and when I told them I had a partner they didn’t skip a beat..

So thats why I’m always surprised when i run into people in the bay area that aren’t out. I was out for beers friday night with some friends and ran into another group of friends… As we were sayin hi one of ‘em started actin freakey and turned his back. I tapped him on the shoulder and said hi to which he said hi then darted into the crowd.. One of my other buddies used to be the HR manager at the company the other worked at (he just left the HR job but the other guy didn’t know that yet)… Turns out the guy who darted into the crowd wasn’t out at work and didn’t want people from work to see him at a gay bar.. They ended up talking later and it was all OK but still struck me curious. I’d think that it wouldn’t be an issue if they were BOTH at the bar..

Too wierd..

I know everyone comes out in their own time and I don’t believe in anyone coming out before they’re ready to deal. But even so, I’m always curious what kind of things makes it hard for people in the San Francisco area to come out.. Its a pretty gay cool place.. Not many work places would have a problem with it (and in most discrimination is a firable offense). Not many people in the area are phobic… If someone lived in Stillwater Oklahoma or was a teamster I’d understand.. But living in SF and working in Technology isn’t the same…

Is it family? Is it religion? Is it friends? Is it historical? Is it Politics? Or is it just cuz it shouldn’t be anyone’s business under certain circumstances?

Mind you i’m not judging or scorning in ANY WAY… Coming out is a VERY personal thing and I respect everyone’s own reasons for coming out or not and their own timing… I’ve known people that came out at age 7 and i’ve known people who have come out at age 45 and everything in between. I didn’t comeout myself until age 23 (which seems like a lot of wasted time in retrospect! ) I’m just always curious what makes people tick and why some people choose to keep this part of their life to themselves and others seem to want EVERYONE to know…

Guess I should add this to the things I ‘wonder about’!