SwimFinsSF

Hollywood Squares

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while – been busy and stuff… more on that later… in the mean time Webb sent this my way and it made me laugh out loud while I was at the house of falafel for lunch today so I figured I’d share! :):)

Hollywood Squares:

If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when ” Hollywood Squares” game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q.If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say “I Love You”?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are “Do It,” “I Can Help,” and “I Can’t Get Enough”?
A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you gro w older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A.. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.

Q.Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q.When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

Tags: Giggles, humor

Bull’s Balls

Now this is what I call a fantastic use of taxpayer money and political energy:

Florida Lawmakers Mull Ban On Ornamental Testicles

(Tallahassee, Florida) They’re proudly displayed by any self-respecting bull, but dangling big metal ones on the back end of a truck could be banned in Florida.

What the fuck… don’t these people have better things to worry about?

sorry… just feeling cynical today I guess..

Tags: Politics, ridiculous

A few on a friday morning

Just a couple of quick things… First, Annik over at SlowGerman had a great podcast this week talking about German music and had some really great stuff… in particular, i just bought an album from Joy Delanane called Was auch Immer that I f-in LOVE… its a really cool combination of soul / R&B, south african, and some other stuff and she sings in about 4 different languages that I can count (German, English, French, and Swahili)… Its my new favorite right now! :):)

And my buddy Scott forwarded me this funny article.. I laughed out loud:

Federal Judge: Enough With the Stupid Names

After Judge Cabrera’s historic ruling, little Clitoria Jackson will likely undergo a name change.

Tags: german, Giggles, music

Attorneys General

TOTALLY random post but I found this interesting so I figured I’d share… I’ve always known that the plural of attorney general was attorneys general and poet laureate was poets laureate but I’ve never known why… So I just found out why on this site:

The Chicago Manual of Style says that “hyphenated and open compounds are regularly made plural by the addition of the plural inflection to the element that is subject to the change in number” and gives as examples “fathers-in-law,” “sergeants-in-arms,” “doctors of philosophy,” “and courts-martial” (196). The NYPL Writer’s Guide puts it this way: “the most significant word — generally the noun — takes the plural form. The significant word may be at the beginning, middle, or end of the term” (396). And then we get examples such as “attorneys at law,” “bills of fare,” chiefs of staff,” notaries public,” assistant attorneys general,” “higher-ups,” “also-rans,” and “go-betweens.”

Ok… so i’m a geek.. but I found the descriptions useful…

Anyway – as you were! 🙂

Tags: grammar, random

Catching you up

Last few weeks have been crazy in both good and bad ways…. So here is the run down…

Two or three weeks ago Kevin and I took a vacation to go visit family back east. Kevin left first and spent a week in North Carolina with his family an I came 4 days later to spend a few days with them as well. After that we both flew up to Gettysburg to spend a few days with my Dad and new Step mom which was really nice…

After family time Kevin and I went to Washington D.C. to attend a Leadership Summit for the Human Rights Campaign. I wasn’t entirely sure what that was going to be like but it turned out to be a great experience. During the day time they lined up a bunch of speakers and other information on political strategy, politics, and policy initiatives and then in the evenings they had really swanky dinners and events.. overall it was a lot of fun though…

So then we got back and had a week of normalcy… work… dinners at home… walking the dog.. Also had a few HRC events in San Francisco which were fun – i’m very inspired to get more involved with them.

Then came the weekend… Started off well.. Dog walks and housework.. My sister was also in town so Sunday evening we hung out with her. Unfortunately, Sunday afternoon we got a call from Kevin’s nice saying that his Mother was very ill and in the hospital. As the day progressed she got worse and by the end of the day it became clear that he needed to go out there and, sadly, by the time he was about to board the plane she had passed away.

Kevin got out there monday and I showed up tuesday morning on a red eye. We spent the week there and returned to San Francisco on Saturday evening. I won’t go into the rest of the details of the following week out of respect. Suffice it to say the funeral was lovely and everyone, despite the solemn occasion, was very welcoming and loving. The other details are probably a little too raw right now – I may describe more later, who knows

I do have to say though that I feel really lucky to have met Kevin’s mom while she was with us – she’s an amazing lady…

So that’s our last few weeks… uggg… crazy huh? i’m EXHAUSTED and REALLY ready to get back to work.. :):)

more later…

Tags: Family, hrc, kevin, sawyers, travel

Is it scary

that everyone I know seems to be showing up in facebook? :-)… We’re talking my sister, her husband, a zillion people I work with, my cousin, friends from college, and as of today my mother and my girlfriend from high school (Yes – my GIRLfriend – enough already! :):)).

anyway… just makin me giggle.. I guess its just a passive aggressive way of letting people to spy on their friends… hehehe… I actually really enjoy finding people on there..

happy easter – by the way!

Tags: facebook, Family, friends, geek, social networking