Religion

Sunday, September 14th, 2003 | Pete Stuff

(Watch out – this is a long one – and probably only interesting to me)

So I went to church this morning.. And it got me thinking about why I still go to church and how that fits into my life.

I’ve always had a really strange relationship to church and religion which has changed over time. When I was little my family (mother’s side of the family at least) was very religious (Christian Scientist) and we went to church every sunday like clockwork.. My mom wasn’t very vocal or push about it and my dad just went along to be supportive. But my Grandma – she was another story. I think women her age took classes on how to deal with kids in the church and she’s always done all the stuff any good God fearing Christian woman should do… She sang me hymns at bed time. She bought me books about Daniel and the lions den and Joseph and the coat of many colors. She always had little mints an paper and pens in her purse on sundays to keep us quiet during the service (our church was small so sunday school was before the main service so the teachers could hear the service). Even to this day she checks on me to see if I’m going to church and explaining to me why I should try to convince Kevin to come with me.


As I got older though we went to church less and less. Probably partially because my Mom found it hard to live by the church’s teachings. Partially because when she re-married my step brother and sister weren’t raised CS and she knew there was no hope of having them become interested in it. My mom tried the religion ‘lite’ thing for a while with my step brother and sister (South Coast Community Church down in Irvine – one of those non-denominational churches) in attempt to instill some basic religious values in them. But in the end it didn’t seem right to her or I being raised CS and they just didn’t care. So that didn’t last long and we ultimately just went less and less. By high school we were lucky if we went once a month.

Today I grapple with religion a lot and how to factor it into my day to day life. Part of the problem I have is external. When you live in San Francisco Church is a foreign concept to a lot of people. Part of the reaction is from people who think its an archaic notion that doesn’t have a place in a modern, educated, scientific society. Part of it comes from so much of the dogma that seems to surround so many religions today that is a turn off to most people (and very hard to live by). And part of it comes from gay men and lesbians who have garnished a lot of hatred and mistreatment from people in the name of Christianity.

But I wasn’t raised in one of those churches. One of the most important things I learned growing up is that God is the embodiment of love and all of us were created as a perfect reflection of that Love in every way so all of the things that define who we are are reflections of God’s Love – including my sexual orientation. Kind of a contrast from the Pat Robertson, Jerry Faldwell or Fred Phelps god of hate and vengeance. I wasn’t raised believing in that and it makes no sense to me. So, while I understand why so many in the gay community who were raised in religious families have justifiable disdain for the church, I don’t share that torment and don’t have that kind of disdain for Christianity. It actually breaks my heart that so many churches teach such hate because the result is a great number of people who seem to throw the baby out with the bath water. There is a lot of good to be taught from the bible and from going to church but when its mixed with such hate people toss it all overboard… Just talk to Kevin about religion some time..

But even given the love and support I’ve always gotten from church I still find it hard to make it a daily part of my life for a bunch of reasons. The most obvious is the nature of Christian Science. I won’t go into the details of here cuz that could take days – but probably the most fundamental idea is that man is a spiritual reflection of God and the material world is simply a reflection of the spiritual. This quote from Science and Health (which they read every week in church) kind of sums it up:

There is no life, truth, intelligence, nor substance in matter. All is infinite Mind and its infinite manifestation, for God is All-in-all. Spirit is immortal Truth; matter is mortal error. Spirit is the real and eternal; matter is the unreal and temporal. Spirit is God, and man is His image and likeness. Therefore man is not material; he is spiritual.

There are a lot of side effects of this belief which are fairly difficult to grasp but one of the most publicized is that Christian Scientists don’t generally go to doctors. Not because they don’t believe in them – thats silly – but because they believe that physical sickness is merely a symptom of a spiritual issue. Going to the doctor may cure the symptom but doesn’t cure the cause. The most simplistic example of this is a headache – a headache isn’t caused by a lack of Advil but rather its caused by other stresses in your life and, while taking Advil may help in the short term, until you fix the stresses in your life the headaches will continue to re-appear when the Advil wears off.

So, needless to say, this is a little hard to live by and follow when you see so much in this world that seem to fly in the face of this. You see a lot of hate and anger in this world that seems to conflict with the idea that we’re all loving reflections of God.. You see a lot of sickness in this world that is a little hard to isolate to a spiritual issue. And its really hard when you’ve caught a nasty cold to curl up with Science and Health and the Bible and work on your Spiritual issues when Benadryl will deal with the sniffles much quicker…

But there are also day to day issues that make it hard to practice. On a sunny Sunday its hard to turn down brunch or a drive to the beach or lying in bed with Kevin to get up and go to church.. Its often MUCH easier to blow it off and do the other things that seem to be more fun. (It also doesn’t help knowing that our services aren’t like GLIDE – no inspirational sings and clapping – just dry reading and out of tune hymns). But, even if I do drag myself to church on sunday, as I did today, and get some important ideas from the service, as I did today, it is still VERY hard to keep these thigns in mind as I go through my week. During silent prayer today I thought a lot about focusing on the important things in life and focusing on my family and friends and less on trivial and counter productive things – but how do you keep that kind of thing in mind as the days go by and things come up… Its far easier to put your mind and your body on auto pilot and let things happen to you than it is to take some of these goals and lessons to heart..

Whats my point? I’m not really sure actually. I guess what this all boils down to is that religion is a very personal thing to each and every person. To some its a source of pain from their childhood. To some its a family legacy that brings them together. To some its a cause for war. To me its a source of guidance and stability when other things stop making sense. Its not something I choose to debate or feel a need to impose on others. Its not something I can always quantify. What it is to me is something that helps me understand and deal with the world around me.

As silly and pollyanna as it seems to some of my friends, when i look at the beauty in the world around me, in the mountains and the trees and the good in the hearts of so many people, I have to believe that this is a reflection of something that is a part of each of us and greater than all of us. Its really just as simple as that – and no amount of scientific explanation can shake that.

Anyway… Lot of rambling on my part at your expense… Go out and enjoy your sunday… We’re off to Ikea! 😉

7 Comments to Religion

MJ
September 14, 2003

Pete – Let me start by first saying that the last time I was in a church was 8 years ago at my wedding… BUT – I read your post with great interest because while I was raised Episcopalian, I attended a private Christian Science high school.

I was surrounded by Christian Scientists but I can’t say I ever truly practiced it. There were things I saw and things that happened that I didn’t understand. Some I still can’t wrap my brain around. One, a miracle of healing, the other a death that was preventable. However, despite all that, there were other simpler teachings that I carry with me and help me to this day in the struggle to meld the spiritual self with daily life.

When you say “I look at the beauty in the world around me, in the mountains and the trees and the good in the hearts of so many people, I have to believe that this is a reflection of something that is a part of each of us and greater than all of us.” That is exactly what I took away from CS. And as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that if you break it down, this simple tenet is the basis of most, if not all, religions.

I don’t prescribe to any particular religion however, while in SF, I stumbled upon the Swedenborgian Church at Lyon and Washington (http://www.swedenborg.org), which is not only a beautiful building but their teachings are an interesting blend of CS and protestant with a little bit of whacko thrown in for good measure. And they love the gays! That would be where the Missus and I were married.

kenny
September 14, 2003

great, great post!

Pete
September 14, 2003

A CS private school huh? That wouldn’t be Principia would it? My mom tried to get me to apply there for both High School and college but i wasn’t interested at the time (wasn’t sure that much CS was my thing).. Hear its a great school though – even if you’re not a Christian Scientist.

Have to look into Swedenborg – from the web site it looks similar in a lot of ways… Hmmm..

MJ
September 14, 2003

No – not Principia. It was a small school (my senior class had 23 people) in Northern Michigan called The Leelanau School. It claims to be non-denominational BUT it was founded by Christian Scientists and most of the faculty, dorm counselors and general staff all graduated from Principia. The reading room there is larger than the general library and everyone, except the 4 students who aren’t CS, reads science and health every morning during the mandatory 20 minute quiet period. But really, it’s non-denominational..

And do check out Swedenborg (gesundheit) if you get a chance. They’re a little kookey (what church isn’t really..) but I particularly liked their concept of free will and that the bible is meant to be interpreted rather than literally applied in life. How refreshing…

Corin
September 15, 2003

What a thought-provoking post, Pete.

As I was raised in a non-church-going family, religion is one of those subjects of which I have fuzzy and somewhat vague feelings. As a child I was given the choice to attend church (Methodist) so it wasn’t pushed upon me in any way whatsoever. I think one of the things I do regret (to a degree) is that whenever religion is brought up in a conversation, I just have this dumb look on my face because I haven’t the foggiest idea of religious scriptures, passages, etc. I haven’t a clue! This is one of those embarrassing things I’ve rarely confessed…but there you have it.

All in all you’re right though: religion is what you make of it. It’s a personal thing to each and every one of us.

ian
September 15, 2003

Remember, you brought it up…

First, I’d like to tell you how wonderful it was to read your post today. How refreshing! I loved that you shared your thoughts and experience! Thanks!

That said… yeah, I remember the lavender hair, opening my hymnal to hymn #304, and the Wednesday night testimony meetings. My Sunday school was usually out early, too. Mom alternated her participation in our churches and societies as a First and Second Reader throughout my entire life. I’ve got a pile of Sentinels and Journals. I not only visited Prin’, but went to A.U. during two summers. I even remember those salmon-colored notes I’d give to my teachers to be excused from classes that, well… preached various forms of materiality.

Hopefully, by this time, and for what it’s worth, I’ve qualified my membership in this “Cult of the Cultured.” I’m also hoping that you’ll indulge me, that we might have this moment to reason together. It is genuinely not my intension to preach, only to share what little I do have. It’s extremely rare that I have the privilege to talk with someone that shares this heritage.

The constant advertisement of the world is hypnotic. Everything held before my senses draws my attention away from what I was taught, so I’ve found it a lot easier to take the Benedril, or whatever. It’s been this way for quite some time, and I’ve dabbled in a thing or two–you know, to see if it would profit me.

For me, the end results have never managed to work out the way they should’ve. Never. A cold was followed by a more serious problem, friendships which ever-so-slightly compromised my spiritual values ended in heartbreak and betrayal, pursuits of wealth brought more that it’s equivalent of loss, etc.. I guess some would call this irony, or bad luck, but I haven’t been able to believe that either. I am certain, in my experience, that the “easy” way proved to be the harder way.

There was always something else, too. I’ve always been aware of a sense that things didn’t have to be this way; so painful. For some reason, no matter how ugly things became, I’ve always had the sense of something more than just kicking pricks.

Which brings me to your entry, on “religion.” Acts 17:24 states, “God that made the world and all things therein, seeing that he is Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands; Neither is worshipped with men’s hands, as though he needed any thing, seeing he giveth to all life, and breath, and all things….”

It occurs to me that real religion has no more to do with its commonly accepted view than God has to do with a great Santa Claus in the sky–checking his list twice, then punishing man for the evil he made him capable of. Real religion isn’t defined by adherence to any group’s tenants, but must originate from God, and must manifest itself in man, spiritually.

Yes, I’m looking to God for guidance, I’m listening for the still, small voice, and I’m praying for the wisdom to do right. It’s also true that I have found it all too difficult to marry my spiritual sense to my limited, human capacity to relate to my peers.

More recently, however, I’ve found comfort in the consideration that I am, indeed, a “peculiar people.”

Well, I’ve talked way too long, so that’s enough outta’ me. Thanks again for the posts.

Pete
September 15, 2003

Man… Ever have one of those times when you let people in on a little part of you and are REALLY glad you did? All these replies make this one of those in my book! 🙂

And no Ian – you don’t sounds to me like you’re preaching at all – I really like what you have to say – really good way to put things! 🙂 So much of what I got from my upbringing and CS boils down to exactly that. Look to be a reflection of your true self and look for that in others and thats what you’ll find. Look to be anything less than that and you’re ultimately doing yourself a disservice. I can look to nearly every experience i’ve had in life and its outcome ultimately comes back to that simple concept.

So much of this seems almost like common sense some times but yet its surprising how easy it is to forget.

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