Settled out of court

Monday, March 29th, 2004 | Random Morsels

I woke up this morning thinking there was a very good chance I could be spending the next 6 weeks in a jury box hearing a case that I can only assume (based on the jury questionnaire) was some smoking / asbestos cancer related case. Last tuesday I got called in for the first round and, unlike the previous time, I was called into a courtroom for jury selection. After giving us a lecture on how honored we should feel to serve on a jury (which irked the shit out of me) the judge proceeded to explain to us the definition of hardship as it applies to being excused from jury duty. He then asked who could claim hardship on those grounds for a trial which would last around 6 to 7 weeks BEFORE deliberations. I’m not opposed to serving on a jury – I’d actually be very interested to – but that is a LONG damn time to be out of work and sit in a box paying attention. I just don’t sit still that well – ask anyone.

Unfortunately, based on the judge’s definition of ‘hardship’ I didn’t qualify (Apple would pay for me to serve, I didn’t have plane tickets booked, and a few other things I don’t remember now). So I filled out a questionnaire that was about 8 pages long asking questions about how I feel about smokers, asbestos, and tobacco companies and if I’d had anyone near me die of any form of cancer. At the end of a lot of questions I took a slip that requested I return today or jury selection. I spent the rest of the week trying to figure out whether I was the ideal juror or if I was too much of an opinionated bastard for them to pick..

Well I showed up today and a very nice lady apologized profusely while telling us the case had settled out of court and we weren’t needed. She felt bad that they had wasted our day.

Given the choice between 2 days and 6 weeks – I choose 2 days! :). So now I’m waiting for my $30 check from the city for my service..